For N.

Don't you know that you are a superstar.
Don't ya know.
yea..yeaa...yeaa

Don't ya know.


I was listening to this song on rock classics on the way over to the library. If I'm not mistaken its about some teenage kid named Johnny, who dreamed of being a superstar at least while he was under the influence of to much alcohol.

My big Brother N. was sometimes my Superstar and is also why it scarred and and twisted so deeply when he also turned my worst nightmares into daytime traumas.

Actually it wasn't just a superstar but a specific one.

SuperMan.


My parents had left for something sort of entertainment or meeting together and left N. to baby sit me until they returned but unfortunely after they had left he had taken hallucenagenics.

Sitting on his bed I watched N. turn around and stare out the window. Just dazed and staring.

N. said he was Superman.
He spread his arms out wide.

And like Icarus got prepared himself for a jump
Into flight out the window.

Lost in my foggy 9 year old thoughts : I am scared what my parents will think of me because I have let my brother jump out the window.