Second Hand Smoke

This is a personal look into the 2nd hand effects of family,community,and historical Traumas especiall after 9/11 . The Journey is the Destination.

6.01.2005

The Whisperer Who Hides Away

I love this prayer-
there is another one that begins with the following Phrase:

“ I Take Refuge
in the Lord of the dawn.”

this is the one phrase that I sometimes say if I am up early drinking my java in the morning watching and meditating on the early morning summer song s of the birds.

Because I am a sparrow.



Humankind
In the Name of God, The Compassionate, The Merciful
(1-6)

“I take refuge
in the Lord of humankind,

the Ruler of humankind,

the God of humankind,

from the evil of insidious suggestion *

that whispers in human hearts

from demonic and human sources.”

* from notes = insidious suggestion “ The Whisperer Who Hides Away”
from: The Essential Koran: Translated & Presented by Thomas Cleary.

I rescued a lost dog yesterday. wandering around the apartment complex.
hungry and running around loose.
Without thinking much I went in a got a bowl of Water and fed it left over chicken from the night before .
&
Arrgh…… and the dog stuck to me like glue . Good fella…... Part Shepherd/Part Rotweiller mix… very sweet dog./ loving and friendly -I tried telling it to, “ Go Home.” but it just sat down watched me and then followed me back into the apartment. So I gave it temporary Shelter/ Found its rabies vaccination shot info on the collar and made a call to animal control to find the owners phone # .It took a long enough while however, but did locate the owner. J who would pick him up the next day.
So.. I gave him temporary shelter . The experience was surprisingly a very nice and pleasant short break from the two cats.

on the other, I was
sensing a deep set feeling of guilt for feeling that I had abandoned it even though I had not . Emotionaly the experience hooked into a deep core of old stuff. Feeling responsible for an animals suffering. I must admit that I didn’t see it coming as I’m not in the habit of rescuing animals.

my experiences of abuse and cruelty of animals: All cats.


In a lot of the Ritualistic Abuse , but not all, I was blindfolded and taken down to the house basement. In the Basement late one night, blindfolded for a long period I was told that I was waiting for Satan. Blindfolded for long periods of time my fear level hitting up and over the roof. The waiting, anticipation and excruciating anxiety is profound. The Voices of young people around me that I cannot see. Finally a young voice pronounces that , Satan has arrived. I think I hear the click click of hooves and my memory fades into as fear escalates into the lost time not recovered Zone

Later I had realized that the click, click sound was the next door neighborhoods dog;
Henry, A black Labrador/ I think.

Either that or a staged sound effect.

I was thinking of the Phrase: The whisperer that hides Away ,that resides in human hearts- from the Koran.
well, thats who came to visit my brother and his friends while they were on drugs.


Trying to decide weather to drive to Chattanooga or not this weekend or perhaps just the day .

Went to a march for Victims of Sexual Abuse and actually enjoyed the walk. up and over Shelby bridge up to the Rape and Sexual Abuse Center itself. There were painted T-shirts from a Clothes line project and actually were the best part I’d thought as they so eloquently spoke for themselves .
The group was small . That was my disappointment. I would have had all kinds of media there.
The following day was a Sunday, afternoons that I assist with the Homeless downtown but it was difficult arriving there as the March Of Dimes Community March was taken Place. I had noticed how organized it was, It looked like the entire community was out for the March of Dimes !. What would it take to kindle that kind organizational force behind the the Rape and Sexual Abuse Center. How much I’d like to watch that amount of people marching for the RASAC in Nashville.

I wonder how involved the Center is involved in the Vic’s of Trafficking in the Refugee Population , In addition to meeting the needs of the non-english and limited English speaking communities in this area.

Is there any Coalition Building between all of the various Sexual Abuse Recovery/ Advocacy Organizations here in the Area.? Do they need to learn about one another.?
Is it working on multi-cultural sensitivities and does the crisis line now have at one Spanish speaking person on the crisis line.? Questions/Questions/ Nag Nag Nagging at me.

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