Looking for My Father as a Young Man.

" Tears Are Prayers"
Jacobo Timermen
Prisoner Without A Name: Cell Without A Number

Since my last visit I have been periodically listening to my meditation
cassette tapes. Sounds of Waves, Ocean and old tapes on meditation instruction that I had on cassette sort of things. In one Meditation I was hiking on a think lush grassy path and found my father sitting on a bench as a young man in his WW2 Uniform sitting on a white iron bench in A pretty english garden.

And I tell him that I am Debbie his youngest Daughter -I've come from his future and into his dream time & and that I need to sit with him in the Garden.
He sits without seeing me
and i am trying so hard to get his attention and just like I'd told him at the Nursing Home, when I was stroking his hand singing the parts of "Pennies in Heaven" that I can remember, and Fred Astaire dances on the freshly cut lawn with his long coat tails flying while he sings and dances.
My father smiles

I'm saying, " Penny for your thoughts-
Penny for your thoughts Daddy.

At the Nursing Home it is Music Time as I walk in I watch my Father pretend to read the Music Sheet- Alert while sitting up in the bed as Honky Tonk Old Time Christian Music Plays on the Piano. My Father is an Atheist but now it doesn't matter anymore. Music is just Music.

There is an elderly woman frail but with a patch over her left eye standing up with her arms raised , slowly swaying back and forth in time with the melody: dancing.
My father reaches for my hand and holds it.


My father loves me

& i have let him