Wild,Wild Week

As the title suggests this has been a very wild week.
The 2nd time this month that I've had flashbacks- although- this time too - they are associated with very specific events.

Went Swimming & dam... I dont' know what I must have done have been to have felt so much frigging pain. The only reason that i came up with was that I over did it..just laps.
The following morning I awoke/got up -out of bed/ walked around to the drawer & Bam/ The most excruicating pain just exploded from my neck.

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That was the event
and this was the association that I experienced in flashbacks.

Electric Shock to the bottom of my feet/directing me to another memory of N. experim-
enting with the wires from his electric train-set to my fingers/ How much does this hurt?/Back to the 1st line-the soles( souls) of my feet are hurting but i don't remember pain-just struggling to walk on the sides of my feet~ sleep deprived/Intermittant sleep deprivation. Night without end. fear of death/fear of the body falling apart/loss and grief . Weaving thru the memories of a lost child /bubbles in a fish tank.

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A few years ago I went to an Orthopedic Hand Specialist due to the large knots on my hand after painting. After looking at the X-ray he asked me, When had my hand been broken? I still don't remember.

What do I do when I need to nurture myself espcially when it to issues of pain.
I imagine taking myselft as a child up in my arms in a sort of "Pieta" and slowly pick her up and gently rock her back and forth in warm bath water.