Inside-Out / Outside-Inn

Last night was the last full meeting of the Inside/Out Program at the Minimum Security Prison
& we worked so hard on various componants of a new re-entry program. I felt lossed when we left as some of the men had walked with us down to the gates to say good-bye .
May 10 is our last program with them.

I have most occasions walked thru the security gate up to the classroom module by myself however on this occasion 2 others from the program had waited it for me & we'd walked together- after havining moved thru the high gated walked walk with huge round barbed wire placed on the top, we came upon 3 inmates feeding pets from the inside.
almost up against the wall is a creek. Prisoners feed the birds from inside the wall by forcing thier hands thru the fence and leaving saved bread crumbs. This time they were crounched down on their knees feeding a tame Beaver that had swum up the creek.

" The gate slams shut, the key turns in the lock, and suddenly, the students and I are in a world that is no longer comfortable or predictable. This kind of learning changes lives -- it disturbs where we are comfortable, challenges what we thought we knew. This is "Inside-Out" or, by its more formal title, "The Inside-Out Prison Exchange Program: Exploring Issues of Crime and Justice Behind the Walls. Having class inside of a prison is compelling - an experience that's hard to shake. And that is one reason we do it."

with the exception of some other programs thru the Peace and Justice Center I don't think I have experienced such a self and personal altering program as Inside/Out. . I looked back at one inmate almost in tears.

I don't believe that our current criminal system address the re-entry needs of any of our incarcerated men, women and teens. Certainly not evey by a long shot. We are simply warehouseing people - to forget them and maked them our dissapeared ghosts but at some time most of them do return back into our communities have had not intervention in the least but simply doing time. By then they have become conditioned to life. A life without connection. We are doing our communities and ourselves a grave disservice by not addressing the issue head on.

1. Book: Justice and Reconciliation: After the Violence ( International Reconciliation Movements) by Andrew Rigby

Food For Thought

Excert from the above in the Preface- Page One.

" Later on I read Max Weber's essay, "Politics as a Vocation," and recognized his distinction between the two ideal types of ethical systems to be pursued in the world of politics: the ethic of ultimate ends or conviction, characterized by an uncompromising commitment to a set of values and ideas, and the ethic or responsibility, which acknowedges the need to be guided in one's political conduct by an awareness of what is practically possible within the world as it is and the parameters of existing conditions. two modes could act as fallible guides to action.

The ethic of conviction can lead to the belief that the good end justifies morally dubious means, a path that can lead to the Gulag and the concentration camp; or it can lead to a distain for all but the purest of means and a consequent failure to resist immediate evils in any effective mannner.

The Pathway directed by the ethic of responsibility has equally great pifalls. you campromise once, then anoother time, and you are on the slippery slope of chosing between relative evils, with all vision of what ought to be driven from your mind.

Hence the ongoing problem of trying to figure out how to live in the world-as-it-is, while trying to bear witness to a world-as-it-ought-to-be."

A Visit from the German Student United Nations Group

A German Student Group had arrived to Visit our Peace Coalition to speak and share.

and it was so very interesting as one vistitor to our group had asked them how they felt as

Germans regarding the Nazis and how did this effect them . These were very young Germans,

17,18,19 and any older. What did they know of this past? They were very honest and said that it was a question that they were constantly asked all of the time regarding the Nazi Regime. Being a mix of Western and East German Students. I admit it did make me wonder how they dealt with the second and tertiary hand smoke that has landed on them.

My sense was that they were trying desperately to separate themselves from the atrocities committed by another generation of Germans . That for them carving out a new identity for themselves was very important and as one of them said them that there was so much shame that it was hard to have any German Nationalism like waving flags and such.

Kurdish National Day Celebration At The Park

Invited to the Regional Kurdish National Day Celebration this last Thursday and arrived on Saturday @ about 2:30pm I think.
So many people arriving. I'd known that there was a very large Kurdish population in our area but didn't know it was this big.
It was absolutely beautiful. Live music and singing. dancing.
and it was the dancing that moved me so.
it had started with alot of middle aged men dancing around in a circle holding hands and then
slowly more, more men of all ages and young boys and in just a little while the women joined.
Powerful, spiritual, lovely. Rhythmic- I don't think I've ever understood the concept of being a member of a tribe before. But I saw it here. Tribe.

I was there.

I' ve been thinking what Tribes am I a member of and how is the membership celebrated?
The tribe of women . It was such an amazement and affirmation to see women who looked a little like me in figurative ways. Here I saw round plump women with curves celebrated.

As a survivor of sadistic and ritualized abuse the last areas of recovery for me have been reclaiming myself back into to tribe of womanhood . There I was sitting amongst some women aquaintances talking and listening enoying the same shared language of the world that our hearts spoke with.

Physical Intimacy and Sexuality are the last areas that I feel disconnected from and essential to my full personhood.

Beautiful , Beautiful Day

Out sick with a wicked virus of some kind. It had me quite knockedoff my feet & feeling very out of sorts. I now have two very clear nostrils.
Yesterday was a absolutely surprise. J. and L. had asked me to " Puppy sit". Which I love to do having 2 cats. L. a cross dresser changes into " Mommy/Daddy".
The way he does his eyes. The Colorful eyemakeup reminds me of Shamans , Shiva and Chinese Opera Costumes and Makeup. What was it. like looking into the great mystery.
& the great mystery smiles and laughes back and says,

" I am who I am"

I thought that it was in other cultures/religions that there was also a celebration of the divine mystery in all creations of the cosmos.
Reminds me of Ganesh the dancing Elephant and Gary Snyders Story of the Bear as a shape-shifter pulling some of us halfway into the realm of the wild.
or maybe not.
But it the wildnes of things has been on my mind alot lately.

My father has now been discharged from the Assisted Living Place in Town and went to an
Geriatric Psy/Rehab Unit for Assesment. I was so hoping that he at least would be well enouf for them to admit him into the Alzeihmers/Dementia Unit, after all of the assesments they would not take him.